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Showing posts from 2004

One hospital visit won't stop the show

My father has recently finished a stay at the hospital after suffering from a heart attack while mowing the lawn. I know what you're thinking "oh poor you,you must be so worried about your father" well not so much. As a matter of fact, had I not been called by my brother letting me know about my father's hospital stay, I probably wouldn't have went to see him at all.

Why the bitterness? Why the total lack of concern on my part? Simple. My father hasn't spoken to me in about four or five months. He got remarried, got a new family and chose to only talk to my younger brother totally distancing himself from my sister and me.

I did feel somewhat obiligated to see him however. He is my father after all and I suppose I'd feel bad if he died and I didn't make peace with him.

So this is what went down.

Me and D. went to the hospital friday night around 8:00 since that was the last chance for visitng hours in ICU. We got there and the nurse told us that th…

Weathering the storm (or hurricane as it were)

I am so tired of hearing about Hurricane Ivan. I live in Huntsville, Alabama and right now,I'm looking at the wind and rain outside and trees swaying in the breeze.I was so worried about the weather, I didn't go to sleep till around 11 or so.

Mom and I went to Super Walmart yesterday to get some dinner and the lines there were ridiculous. People were buying hundreds of dollars worth of food and all I could do is shake my head at them. For some reason,I'm guessing people here equate hurricane and flooding with sereve winter weather (snow) and so, they buy lots and lots of eggs, bread, and other stupid stuff. Now, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with people being prepared for the worse. I do have a problem with folks who freak out and shop as though the world is coming to an end.I just feel like getting on the intercom system at Walmart and saying:

Do you really need all the stuff?If you lose all your electricity, then what are you gonna do? You'll be crying i…

Do as I say,not as I do

Recently, there has been what I can only decribe as a outbreak of people saying that they've been called to preach.Before I go any further, I'll explain the process that comes with those expressing a desire to preach in the primitive baptist church.

When someone says this, there is a whole process that they have to go through before they can step up into the pulpit. In the primitive baptist religion,after saying you've been called, the person (usually a guy;they don't traditionally support women preachers)has to preach a sermon in front of the church body. Following this, they have to go in front of a group call the prespretery in which he again preaches a sermon in front of preachers , deacons, and whoever else are there. Within this sermon, he has do take about about Jesus' death, burial and ressurection. If he does this and the group is pleased,he'll be ordained. If he forgets something like talking about Jesus dying but doesn't talk about his coming ba…

Losing my religion?

Next month, I am planning to take a trip with my fiance' to the Soquel Camp Meeting in California. I chose to go with him because it seems like it would be very interesting. My mother on the other hand,is somewhat confused by me going on the trip.

I told her that after D. and I tie the knot, I plan on converting to the adventist religion. When I told mom this, she look like I had just slapped her in the face. Then came all the questions and the guilt trips. She doesn't understand why I would make such a decision in order to please den and why would I stop eating meat to make him happy?

She doesn't get that this isn't even about D. Nope, it's about me finding my our niche in the religious world. I love the church I go to, but the fact of the matter is that I've been going there for so long, I don't know anywhere else to be. Also, I feel that it's wrong to only go to a church or be a member of a certain religion because that's what your mother or gr…

Hitting it big in Tunica ! (or leaving a me and coming back a we)

I'm happy to report that Den finally popped the question on Thursday night. Guess this makes me an engaged woman now! Yipee!!!! I know, I know, you want all the gritty details don't you? Well,since we are frineds and all, I'll be nice and give you the low down.

We went to Tunica this past weekend (we like playing the slots) and we were having the best time possible. That Thursday night, we had went to dinner and then we came back to the hotel room. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, there was a bowl of fruit and a bottle of champange on the table. Den asked me to feed him and I'm like, "what do you want me to feed you for?" He's all "Shut up,I'm trying to be romantic."

I know,real mushy,right?


Anyway, then we're laying on the bed and I'm feeding him grapes and stuff and the he asks me to give him some strawberries and while I'm looking for them, he manages to roll off the bed and get down on one knee.He then proceeds t…

Why can't people follow the rules? (or Tam's list of work related pet peeves)

Early on in life, you are taught that their are rules and how important it is to follow the rules. "Don't talk to strangers," "don't cross the street without looking both ways,""don't speak out of turn," "don't talk with your mouth full," "don't wear your underwear over your pants," "don't talk too loud in the library." Rules are created to keep us out of harm's way, keep us out of trouble, and serve to make our lives much,much easier. However, I've come to learn from working at the public library that for every rule out there, there is someone making an extra effort to totally break that rule.


The first thing that annoys me is this: why is it that the minute people step into a public place, they feel possessed to talk loud enough for folks in at least three other states to hear them. Now don't get it twisted... I'm not saying that folks shouldn't be able to talk when in public pla…

Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

Lately, people have been pressuring me about my realtionship with D. I love him, he loves me (I'm sure),but he has yet to show the slightest inkling of wanting to make a long term commitment. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't find the words to fully convey how hurt I feel; I've run out of things to say.

I tell him all the time how much I love him and want us to be together for the long haul;I've even proposed on several occassions. At this point, I'm really beginning to think that I'm in a relationship which will be forever be in a state of perpetual limbo;never getting better, never getting worse...just being there.

There comes a point in life in which you come to the realization that no matter how much you want your life to go a certain way,things never go the way you want them to. Maybe it's my fault for sticking with him for what's about to be six years and thinking that someday he'll realize how great I am and he'll fall on his…

My name is Tamara, and I'm addicted to Walmart

I know what you're saying, how can I possibly be addicted to Walmart? Well, intially, I didn't suffer form what I like to call "Walmart-itis" but slowly, I begin to become addicted to going there. I mean, where else can you go and find clothes, cds, crochet supplies and do grocery shopping all at the same place!

The other reason why I like Walmart so much stems from the creation of Super Walmart. At regular Walmart, or as I like to call it, Walmart Lite, you can only buy clothes,furniture, other things but, there is no grocery area, so you still have to go somewhere else to get food. With Super Walmart however, you can get pretty much whatever you need at a lower price than other places.

Since they have put a Super Walmart in my neighborhood, people have been there non-stop which annoys me somewhat but is still good because this means that business is booming. I especially take comfort in knowing that whenever I finish shopping, I don't have to wait in line bec…

Kids are cute...until you have one

Currently, my brother and his girlfriend are trying to make a baby. I love children,I really do, as long as I know that when they start to cry, I can turn and give them back to their parents. For some reason though, kids, especially small ones, love my brother to death. The problem is not so much the fact that he's doing everything to create another life...it's more the fact that my brother is refusing to see the reality of the whole situation.

First of all, my brother is 23 while his girlfriend al all of 17. Second, my brother has no job.Not only does he not have a job, he has no intention of getting one. Right now, his girlfriend is working part-time at the Space and Rocket Center. Surely, this one source of income can't be expected to support a child.

Another thing you have to realize is how much of a temper my brother has. Sure he can tolerate kids for a short amount of time, but once the kid starts misbehaving and not listening to my brother, he doesn't want to …

Is it wrong to want to trade in your father?

I love my parents, I really do. At least I love my mom anyway. When it comes to how I feel about my dad, I don't really care for him at all. It's just that he has this habit of being an extreme pain in the butt and he always struts around acting like he's the best thing since sliced bread when he is not.

Maybe, I should let bygones be bygones. After all, he is my father and I should treat him with the respect that he deserves....okay-even I find this statement hard to believe.I guess in order to be fair to my dad, I should try to forgive him for all the dirt he has done.

I am really mad at him because, for some reason, he feels that he can abandon his duties as a parent for twenty or so years and then come back and everyone should be patting him on the back for deciding to stop by for a while.

I'm not gonna sit here and act like all my problems in life stem from him not being around but I do feel that this is somewhat true. I have abandonment issues when it comes to…