Sunday, March 28, 2004

Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

Lately, people have been pressuring me about my realtionship with D. I love him, he loves me (I'm sure),but he has yet to show the slightest inkling of wanting to make a long term commitment. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't find the words to fully convey how hurt I feel; I've run out of things to say.

I tell him all the time how much I love him and want us to be together for the long haul;I've even proposed on several occassions. At this point, I'm really beginning to think that I'm in a relationship which will be forever be in a state of perpetual limbo;never getting better, never getting worse...just being there.

There comes a point in life in which you come to the realization that no matter how much you want your life to go a certain way,things never go the way you want them to. Maybe it's my fault for sticking with him for what's about to be six years and thinking that someday he'll realize how great I am and he'll fall on his knee and pop the question.

Shame on me for being a big softie.

All I want is for someone to want to be with me forever and not just because they feel it's comfortable to be in a relationship with me. I want a man who'll be willing to accept me,crazy opinions, flaws and all.

The main problem I see right now is that on D.'s list of priorities, I'm really low on the totem pole (somewhere between finishing college and paying off his car). It's not like I even want to be center of his universe, just a planet in his galaxy,a star in his sky.

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