Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Weight loss and its unforseen cost

There's something funny and equally sad when you're overweight. You're always constantly ingored by people and the clothes that are available for you to wear are unflattering to say the least. You get used to people not noticing you and while you do your best to look good, more often than not, nobody cares. At least that's been my experience in the past.

Growing up, I've always had problems with low self- esteem and my weight. As you can imagine, teasing in school only made matters worse. I've always been the type of woman known for not being able to take a compliment. It's not that I don't appreciate the compliment, I just don't know how. Whenever someone says soemthing nice to me, I automatically overanalyze what they said and why they said it. The most I've ever weighed was 298 and as of today, I weight 234.Although I am proud of what I've accomplished, I don't broadcast it to everyone I meet-that's what other people are for.

Since I have lost weight, the compliments pour in on a daily basis. While I appreciate the positive compliments, I can't help but wonder if people are being serious or if they are hating me for what I've done. Relationships have become strained because I don't view food the way I used to to and for some, this is that only way I could bond with certain people. Even now, while two co-workers were talking, co-worker one mentioned my weight loss and asked me to stand up so that the co-worker two could look at me and how thin I've gotten. It was amazing to me in that after co-worker two looked at me, she said "Are you sure she's not pregnant? You know with her being so young and looking weight, it wouldn't suprise me."

Even this Thanksgiving at a gathering with family, even though my family gave me tons of compliments about my weight loss, I was still uncomfortable. Partially it was because my aunt pointed out that while I'm getting thin and have always been fat, my sister and cousin who have always been skinny are picking up weight. The nerve of her!Both of them are 25 years old and if they weighed the same now that they did when they were 12 or 13, I'd be worried about their health. My aunt has her own issues with weight and she's also diabetic so she's definitely not one to judged anyone.

I also get irritated because people ask me what I did to loose the weight and I tell them eat less and exercise more. My husband has gotten pissed with me "lying" as he calls it because he saw the hard work it took for me to lose the weight and it took a whole lot more that eating less and exercising more. I had to cut my calories to around 1,800 a day in addition to exercising three to four times a week. I've started telling people what I've really done to lose the weight and if nothing else, I feel better for being truthful.

Why is it that when someone looses weight, you can't just be happy for them and instead look for flaws and reasons to tear them down?

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